My Life in Writing (The Later Years)

        I left off “My Life in Writing (The Early Years)” with me working in a plastics factory, drinking too much beer, and writing bad country and western songs.  I should say they weren’t all bad.  Some showed promise.  Songs like one I wrote about a co-worker, with the refrain -

Marjorie, Marjorie

King and Queen of the factory

She wants a ring on her fingers

a man on his knees

The prettiest thing she’s ever seen

is Marjorie.

 

          In less than a year, I figured out I was going nowhere at the factory.  I wasn’t publishing any of my songs.  My friends were confronting me about my drinking.  I started feeling guilty that maybe I wasn’t following the path God had laid out for me.  So, I went to seminary.

          As mentioned in a previous post (”How to Speak Seminarian”), I found seminary to be a hot-bed of radical feminism and breeding ground for whatever liberal causes happened to be in fashion on a given day.  To relieve myself of the sheer seriousness with which people took themselves, I joined in an effort to produce two satirical newsletters - The Institutes and Rude Dogma.  I quoted from The Institutes in my “How to Speak Seminarian” post.  Here’s a sampling from Rude Dogma, an article in our introductory issue entitled “Give Us Your Money” -

 

          Contrary to popular Reformed opinion, salvation ain’t cheap.  This is the 20th century, folks!  If we expect to usher in the kingdom, we at least need to pay for xeroxing the notices.  

          We here at Rude Dogma are willing to offer premium INDULGENCES for the first 100 persons who respond with a pledge of $5 or more.  To show we’re acting in good faith, we’re offering one “Venial Sin Indulgence” coupon in this issue.  This coupon is good for petty theft, exclusive language, and breaking the boycott by eating at Taco Bell.

          If memory serves me, that notice netted us a total of $1 (and that may have been monopoly money).

          In addition to these satirical newsletters, I began to write Biblical reflections that have been a staple of my devotional life for almost 20 years now.  Oh, and I also wrote a few poems dedicated to women who rejected me to get married or become lesbians (or both).

 

 

          By the grace of God, after much rejection, I met the woman of my dreams.  Since I could not woo her with my rather abrasive personality, I used love letters full of quirky as well as touchy, mushy stuff.  I’m happy to say it worked and we’ve been married over 17 years now.

          As I entered ministry, much of my writing time was devoted to sermons, newsletter articles, and pastoral letters.  I kept writing Biblical devotions and eventually published a few in some devotional booklets.  I published a book review for a (now defunct) magazine and submitted a second which was not printed, possibly because in it I trashed the latest work of one of their contributing editors.   I also wrote sermon reviews for another publication.  All told, I think the gross income for my entire publishing career was about $250.  Not quite enough to quit my day job.

 

Then, I went nuts.  

 

 

          Though I wrote prolifically while in the psych hospital, I can’t quite follow any of it.  My train of thought had become derailed.  My stream of consciousness had drifted into the stratosphere.  My imagery was so fuzzy you couldn’t make it out.  At the time, however, I thought it was all quite worthy of publication - perhaps even with a major publishing house.  My wife wisely advised me against sending it out, though, particularly since it was written with multi-colored crayons.

          Once I got back on my feet (and out of my restraints), I found that I had little drive or energy to do much more than my basic pastoral and ministerial tasks.  I feared my creative juices ran dry.  For a while I even started preaching from a 3-point outline rather than a manuscript.  Even my Biblical devotions became sporadic.

           Then one day, as I was stumbling around the Internet, I discovered a little thing called a blog.  It was a revelation!

 

 

          My blog has afforded me the opportunity to write a wide variety of what I enjoy best - satire, Biblical devotions, reflections on life and faith.  I can write as much or as little as I want.  And, people read it.  Maybe not a great many.  But, more people than hear my sermons or read my newsletter articles.  Blogs are amazing.  What will they think of next?

          I won’t say that my blog has much social or spiritual value, but I do know it has been very therapeutic.  It has carried me through three bad psychiatrists, two rotten therapists, two depressing support groups and countless failed medications.  I may not be making any money at it, but it’s not costing me anything either.  It’s cheaper than a psychologist. 

 

And who knows just where it might lead?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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