How Not to Befriend a Person with Bipolar

 

         Danielle from The Bipolar Diaries is developing another site called, The Mood Disorder Network.  Danielle is a real go-getter who really knows her stuff.  In spite of this, she has asked me to be a contributor.  Without hesitation, I accepted, eager to have an avenue to delve deeper into my illness and free up Necessary Therapy for more spiritual topics like interviews with dead theologians (like this, this, and this) mock hostage take-overs by Muslim moderates, and tributes to such people as a Jewish Texan singer/mystery writer. 

          So, I am now officially a contributor to the soon-to-be-famous Mood Disorder Network.  They have even posted my first piece - “Help!  My Friend Has Bipolar” which is a list of 7 ways to be a good friend to someone with the illness. 

          As I completed this piece, I got to thinking about the flip side of the coin - things a person might want to avoid if s/he has a friend diagnosed with Bipolar.  I came up with a variety of things, I’ll list in the form of a dialogue between “Billy Bipolar” (BB) and “Freddy Friend” (FF).

BB:  “Oh man, I forgot to bring my meds.”

FF:  “Here, just take some Tic-Tacs and wash them down with this grain alcohol.”

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BB:  “You know, I love my wife, but she’s really been on me since I got out of the hospital.”

FF:  “Forget about your wife.  You need to meet my cousin, Lulu.  She has Bipolar, but gave up treatment long ago.  Brought her down. ”

 

BB:  “You haven’t told me about a Lulu.  Where’s she live?”

FF:  “Let’s see, it’s Friday.  She should be at the corner of 5th and Main.”

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BB:  You know lately, Freddy, I’ve been feeling a bit grandiose.  My doctor says I’m not getting enough sleep.

FF:  The thing to do for grandiosity is to do something big.  I have a cousin who is friends with Jerry Lewis.  If I just say the word, he can book you on his Telethon and you can show the world just how great you are - all night long.

 

**********

BB:  You know, I’ve really been struggling to trust people.  My psychiatrist, therapist, even my family doctor say I’m becoming paranoid.

FF:  What do they know?  They’ve all got it in for you.

 

 

**********

BB:  “Freddy, I feel suicidal.  I need you to take me to the hospital right away.”

FF:  “Sure, as soon as I shoot off a few rounds at the firing range.  Hey, can you hold this pistol for me?”

 

          {Note from the Pistol:  I’m happy to say that Billy Bipolar survived his friendship with Freddy Friend and is now recuperating nicely in the psych unit of Columbia Presbyterian Hospital.}