Dear Readers -
In the absence of our beloved leader, Pistol Pete (see “The Pistol Accused of Censorship”), we will present to you material we either solicit, receive, borrow, or steal. The following piece was found in a random search around the blogosphere. It is used with great appreciation, but without permission.
– Respectfully, The Lackeys of Necessary Therapy
(from “Santa. Satan. Anagrammatic Coincidence? No.”)
by John Shore at Simply Christian
… Santa being Satan certainly explains a lot. For one, it explains the red suit. It also explains the flying reindeer. Remember how scary the flying monkeys were in The Wizard of Oz? Clearly, making mammals fly is an earmark of the malevolent. And seriously, what would you rather have flying over you: a one-pound monkey, or a 500-pound reindeer? That wide-brimmed hat the Wicked Witch of the West wears might protect her from monkey droppings, but is it really going to help against a team of reindeer flying overhead?…
… The Christmas season is upon us. Let us become ever more vigilant against the evil that tries to distract us from its true meaning. Christmas is about celebrating the incarnation of God — period. And that is why I, for one, will be prepared throughout this entire Christmas season to at any given moment stand straight, point accusingly, and cry at the top of my lungs, “Get thee behind me, Santa!”
To read the full post, visit Simply Christian and tell them we sent you.
I’m not familiar with John Shore. Tell me this post is a satirical piece? It is right? Satire? Gawd I hope so! :)
NT replies: Check out his sight. And tell him we sent you.
Yes, it must be satire. Reading over the rest of his site, I’d be shocked if this piece was meant to be taken seriously.
It is even more insidious than you think. Imagine the brilliance at work here. “Santa” delivers toys to children who have supposedly “earned” them by being good–something they should do anyway. He leaves toys like video games and dolls and trains and bikes—all under the guise of benevolence. The reality is (just like Satan to be so crafty) he is actually delivering distractions–devices that will make kids whine for more when their parents tell them to go to bed, devices that will keep them up late on Saturday night to reach level 1344 and then be too tired to go to Church on Sunday, devices that will divide the siblings because some will want what the others have. All of these devices are left underneath a “Christmas” tree–the ultimate pagan symbol of the holidays used in the ancient past as a fertility symbol by the Egyptians.
Get thee behind me Santa indeed!
NT replies: Dear reader, let this be a warning to you. Just so no to Santa.
That picture of Santa looks like he’s a Goa’uld.
I guess it makes sense … if they ran out of gods to impersonate, maybe they’d go for Santa.
Yes, I am a geek …
you’re a retard
The Pistol fires back: And may you have a blessed Christmas season.
oh man for whoever wrote this drivel why dont you do some research about just where santa came from as in st. nicholas of myra. who was at the first council of nicea. the spirit of giving. how dare you use religion as a weapon to turn people against a saint.
santa clause is simply a mispronuciation of sinterklaas the dutch word for st. nicholas. and on that note i just one thing to say in the immortal words of lew dewitt of the statler brothers.
I BELIEVE IN SANTAS CAUSE!
SANTA FOREVER BABY!
god bless you.