God spoke to me last night.
I was lying in bed when I distinctly heard - “Colts over the Jaguars”.
I said, “Huh? Who’s that?” And the voice said, “God.”
I said, “Right! Sure. You’re God.” And the voice said, “No really. It’s me, God. I know all things.”
So I said, “Prove it.” And the voice said, “OK. One day you are going to be a great writer.”
I weighed his words, then said, “God! What can I do for you?”
Wow! God. I’d never really heard God’s voice. Unless you count that time in college when I climbed a tree and hung upside down for over an hour. But, “Get down, stupid!” isn’t much of a divine revelation.”
So, here’s God, telling me the Indianapolis Colts will defeat the Jacksonville Jaguars this Sunday. Now, God’s not going out on much of a limb, with Peyton Manning playing some of his savviest football since coming into the league.
Though the Colts are riddled with injuries, particularly on offense, their defense has come through in the clutch. They’ve been in a position to win all 11 games. Take away a second-half slump against the Patriots and a botched field goal against the Chargers and they’d be undefeated.
But the Jaguars are no push-overs. At 8-3, they stand to tie the Colts for the AFC South lead with a win. QB David Garrard has more than justified Coach Del Rio’s decision to go with him over Byron Leftwich. The Colts certainly have no one to match Fred Taylor in the running game.
Perhaps what tips the scales in this game is the location. The Colts have been dominant in the friendly confines of RCA Dome, winning 9 straight against AFC South opponents. If I’m not mistaken, were it not for the dreaded Patriots, they would be undefeated at home through last season and this one.
So, God says again, “Ride the Colts all the way.”
“But will they cover the spread?” I asked.
“No, my son. Colts 28 Jaguars 25.”
(Note: Pigskin prophecy numbers are given for entertainment purposes only. But, if, while you are being entertained, you should come into a bit of cash, remember to give 10% for the work of the Lord.)
“Pigskin prophecy numbers are given for entertainment purposes only. But, if, while you are being entertained, you should come into a bit of cash, remember to give 10% for the work of the Lord.”
-That is funny. God spoke to me and said–don’t write a blog post that makes fun of A&M because UT will likely lose to them–I didn’t listen–I’m just too evil.
Man, I can’t tell if this is a joke or not. I sure hope it is…
The Pistol fires back: Time will tell. We’ll see who’s joking after the last whistle blows tomorrow afternoon.
The colts will win, no doubt about that. But I’m willing to bet god didn’t tell you that ;)
The Pistol fires back: The Lord moves in mysterious ways. But, I’m not a betting man. Entertainment purposes only.
Nice game analysis (although while Taylor is a good back I don’t know that he’s head and shoulder above Addai in terms of what they give to their club). When did you become so immersed in the NFL? God told me last night that Ohio State was going to play in the BCS National Championship game. No, wait, that was Brent Musberger. Man, I’ve gotta get their voices straight.
The Pistol fires back: God. Brent Musberger. 6 of one. Half dozen of the other.
The final score… Colts 28 – Jags 25.
Hmmm, not bad, being for “entertainment purposes” and all.
The Pistol fires back: I have some confessions to make. 1) God didn’t really speak to me. 2) I just guessed that the Colts would win. 3) After the game, I went back and changed the numbers to make it look like God had given me the exact final score. So, there you have it. I’m a phony. But, the good news is… the Colts won.
Thank God I didn’t find a bookie.
The Pistol fires back: Good move on your part.
Well Pistol, thanks for giving us the scoop on your prognostication skills, and for the laugh.
The Pistol fires back: You are most welcome. I aims to please.